This One Question Changed My Life: “Why?”

Once when was 11, I swam too far into the deep end of a pool and began to drown. Despite my best efforts, I simply did not know how to stay afloat. Of course, I was eventually pulled out because there isn’t a way to blog from the grave (yet). The point is, that split second of sheer panic when I realized my feet could no longer reach the bottom of the pool was the way I felt all of last year. College, work, and issues in my personal life piled up so high that I couldn’t see a way out. I was working as a full-time student, full-time employee, and part-time human being.

I wanted time to put real effort into my creative projects for school and also have time to pursue passion projects on the side. But I was stuck in a soul-sucking job that made me want to go home and sleep the stress away. I hated my job, I couldn’t focus on school, and I most certainly was not having fun.

Eventually, I checked into my University’s counseling center where I was asked one simple question that changed my life. I poured out my troubles to my therapist and began detailing the pain of my job. I hated that I wasn’t making stuff I loved, My team was unenthusiastic about their roles, and the office I reported to was depressingly cold and dark.

When asked why I put up with my job, Without skipping a beat, I said it was because I, “had to get used to it”. This was simply the way life had to be. There was no getting out of working a job you hate, sticking to someone else’s schedule, and working with others stuck in the same situation.

I wasn’t ready for the follow-up question. The question that changed my life was a simple, “Why?”. I sat back and realized I was letting the warnings of other people lead my life. Everyone told me that I was going to have to get used to the “real world”. I hadn’t realized that I could shape my reality.

As a creative, I have the freedom to create the life that I want. Whether I want to work with an agency or freelance on my own time, it’s up to me to make that choice.

Last year I learned that I could choose happiness. I also experienced first hand that my well being was directly tied to my ability to be creative. I left the job I hated and was able to channel more of my time into school and personal projects.

If you’re dreading the idea of working a 9-5 where the only thing you have to look forward to is the short bliss of the weekend, I beg you to ask yourself, “Why?”. You may find that your reasoning has less to do with you and more to do with the fears of other people.

Note to reader: this was written around 2018-2019 when I was in college. As the years past I continue to thank myself for making this decision even if my career path has changed <3